Is it just me, or do family Christmas get-togethers feel an awful lot like hell on earth? My office-mate's flight home just got cancelled. I've never heard anyone whoop with such pure joy. He seemed even happier than my nieces and nephew ripping open their Christmas presents.
I wonder if one could make money with a business supplying holiday advocates for single women...and men, too. Let me be clear--these are not fake dates. These are life coaches who will advocate for the singleton over the next 3 to 5 days.
These folks could accompany the single person home for the holidays, bringing along cocoa and good cheer for the long flight/train ride/drive home. They could advocate for the singleton with the critical family, providing much needed family therapy in the process. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, the advocate would insist that the singleton must not sleep in a "freezing back bedroom of death" with a spinster sister who likes to discuss her problems with bodily functions, but in a hotel room where peace and quiet and single beds reign, if not for the greater calm and mood improvement this would provide, then simply for human dignity. Human dignity! Depending on client wishes, the advocate could then drive said client to a pastry shop or perhaps to the nicest bar in town--even if that's the Boot Scootin' Lounge--to eat/drink the day into oblivion every evening and deflect passes from overzealous pastry chefs and/or drunken wannabe cowboys.
I suppose married people would be very jealous if this were to happen.
Who wants to go into business with me? Calling all advocates (P.S., advocate wannabes, this means you don't have to go home for the holidays either because you're working w/ a nice, single potential cutie...woops. This is not, repeat NOT, a date!)
Yeah, I'm starting to think Hollywood has already made a feel-good movie about this.
Ah well. Peace out ya'll. Happy holidays. Wish me luck.
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